A Little Help From My Friends

It’s amazing how lonely a big city can be. Perhaps its enormity reminds me of just how small I am in the scheme of it all. I try to start everyday on a positive note, but some days despite my best efforts, I just can’t shake the funk.

Today was one of those days…

I know that I have so much to be thankful for and I know in my heart that everything will work out in the end, but the journey can be all-consuming at times.

I find myself impatience for what is to come and melancholy about my current state of reality. There are a lot of things in my life that are currently up in the air and sometimes it feels like I will never quite be able to grasp them.

As a result, it becomes very lonely in my head and my heart. Will my dreams of success in life and love ever become a true reality or will I always be in a state of unrest and unknowing?

And the unknowing is the worse part of it all.

I know that life is a struggle and not every day will be filled with positive energy. Everyone has those days where it seems like you are fighting just to breath, the world around you is crumbling at your feet and you are powerless to stop it.

But it’s how you choose to deal with these lows that determines whether the outcome will be positive or negative.

I reasoned that my somber feeling today was most likely due to feeling lonely and a bit homesick. I am miles away from almost everyone closest to me and I miss them all immensely. It’s not that I don’t like to be alone, because it’s quite the opposite, I love my alone time. However, I miss having the option to spend time with the most important people in my life.

I strongly believe that each connection we make with someone is part of a greater plan. Those we choose to share our lives with are meant to be in our lives for one reason or another. So, it only makes sense that although I am excited about my current venture, I am deeply missing their presence in my everyday life.

I reached out to my friends today and they reminded me of my strength and the inner light that always carries me through. It’s amazing how those close to you know exactly what to say to lift you up. We get so caught up in the moment we are experiencing that we start to lose our momentum towards the final goal.

I am so blessed to have people in my life who see in me what I am too blind to see in myself. Thank you for reminding me that I am still the strong and powerful person I always have been and that this is just a fleeting negative moment. You give me peace in knowing that no matter what happens, I will always be loved.

All my love 🙂

Embracing City Life

As I find myself settling in to the Mile High City, I am reminiscent of my first time leaving home to live in the Big City. I was going on 19 years old, from the small town of Roscoe, IL and I was moving clear across the country to live in Seattle Washington. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. When I first arrived, I was in a state of complete culture shock. Where I was from (I realize now), I was a big fish in a small pond, surrounded by friends and family, my confidence was booming! Upon moving to Seattle, I was made aware rather quickly that I was not longer a big fish, but a very, very small one in an ocean I had never experienced before.

In my first adventure downtown on the city’s transit system (something else that was new to me), I was like a kid in a candy store. I jumped from seat to seat on the bus looking around at this new and inspiring place that I now called home. Our first stop was Pikes Place Market. I leaped from the bus to find myself amongst the hustle and bustle of the market place. My companion and I walked the streets exploring this inspiring place we now called home.

After settling on a side street next to a large apartment building, I felt several droplets of what I thought was rain fall on my head. “Well that’s appropriate” I said to my companion who was leaning against the building. “What’s appropriate?”  he asked.

“It’s Seattle and it’s raining” I replied.

Puzzled, he looked at me and said, “Um no it’s not…”

I raised my head to the sky to see a pigeon on the roof above with its bum hanging over the side of the building. He was relieving himself…on my head!

We both roared with laughter and decided it was time to head home.

Even as I was being violated by nature, I was able to find the humor in the moment.

It may sound silly, but this simple story reminded me of the control I have on my own outlook in life. There will be many “pigeons” in my life who wish to rain on my parade and only I have the power to laugh them off and move on. The bird was doing what comes natural to him and I just happened to be below him receiving it.

We can not control the actions of others, but we can control how we allow those actions to affect us.