Coming Up For Air

I paused for a moment of reflection today to chart my progress on my path to success.  The best description of my current state of mind is like coming up for air after a long hard struggle with the ocean current. The stagnant place I once called reality is a slowly fading memory. Six months ago, I was barely breathing. Drowning in feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, I was emotionally, physically and spiritually drained. I was heartbroken, uninspired and defeated. I have been battling with the undertow for years and I have finally beat the tide and pulled myself ashore!

My past still lingers in the shadows, the constant reminder of the person I was and shall never be again. In less than a year, I have shaken a love I never thought I could and found a love for myself that I never thought was possible. I took a leap of faith by leaving the familiar and much to my surprise it has all worked out. I forced myself to deal with the issues that have plagued my existence for as long as I can remember. As difficult as it has been to step up and own my mistakes, my insecurities and my faults, this breath of fresh air makes it all worth it.

May you all find your breath of fresh air!

Expanding my Horizons

When I originally started this blog I was beginning my journey in reconnecting with myself and finding my true path to happiness. I ended my first post (Finding myself) with this: “I am optimistic and confident that I am on the road to success. Maybe not success in the way that everyone views it, but success for me is knowing who I am and what I want. Only then can I know how to pursue my true happiness!”

That was almost two months ago and a lot has happened since then, so I decided it was time for a flash back to ensure I am still doing what I set out to do. When I left Madison, I was feeling pretty defeated and overwhelmed. My self esteem had taken a major hit and I knew I needed to work on my confidence level or I would end up becoming a hermit who spends her days sitting at home with her cats writing instead of stepping outside to experience life. I was determined to NOT let this happen.

In the posts that followed, I explored the realm of possibilities for my future and began narrowing down the steps needed in order to better my life. I made a list of the joys in my life and have spent the days following focusing on them intently. I have made drastic changes in my diet, which I will post about at a later day (It’s going well) and I have picked up many of the activities and creative outlets that have escaped me for so many years. I have made attempts to changing my self perception and boost my self-esteem, which has resulted in the ability to slowly creep out of my shell. It’s all rather liberating!

I am not afraid to say that I am very proud of myself! Looking back on the person I was just a few months ago, I can honestly tell you that I have come a long way. I realize that one of the major reasons for my low emotional state stemmed from my fear of rejection and all of the pent up anger and hurt I was keeping bottled up inside.

In my last post to Random Thoughts from Insane Roots (one of my other blogs), I talked about forgiveness and how freeing it is to forgive those who have wronged you regardless of whether they are willing to give you the closure you are craving them to. In the end we are the most powerful force behind our own happiness. There is no question that everyone experiences trying times in life, some more than others. However, it is up to you to turn these struggles in to strength and rise above tragedy. Dwelling in anger and pain is not healthy and it will not lead you down the right path. It can actually keep you from moving in any direction at all.

One of the blogs I love to read is BodyMindHeartHealing, the author is extremely talented and her posts are always inspiring. She reminds you that the healing power is within all of us, we just need to find a way to tune our self into it. I highly recommend checking it out.

We are all on different paths and we can not let the fear of the unknown keep us from pursuing our true happiness. More over, we must rid ourselves of self-defeating thoughts and learn to love the very essence of what makes each one of us special in our own way.

Be your biggest fan, it’s okay, really 🙂

Blogging 101 (Day 9) – Be Inspired!

Yesterday, during our Blogging 101 assignment to continue connecting to the neighbors, I found several wonderful new blogs to follow and connected with some very inspiring people! The post by Words in Bulk, Inspire Hope, gave me goosebumps. It was like he took the words write out of my mouth and posted them for me to see. The author and I seem to be living somewhat parallel lives and struggling with where to go next, how to identify our true passion and determine what we may offer to the world.

In his post, he discusses the difference between ‘doing something with your life’ versus ‘doing something in your life’.

As he puts it:

“What I do with my life isn’t really important or up to me.  What I do with my life is selfish and worldly.  Its materialistic, its simple, it’s unimaginative. What I want to do in my life is much more than that. I want to inspire. I want to give hope. I want to reassure everyone that will listen that everything is going to be ok.  I want to live in this life as an avatar of hope.”

And that is when the goosebumps arrived! I read this and thought…That is exactly what I want to do IN my life!! I want to be an avatar of hope! Looking back, I seem to be very easy to talk to and many of my friends and family reach out to me for support and at times just to hear me tell them that it will all be okay. Sometimes all anyone needs is a little reassurance and I am honored to remind them of just how wonderful they are!

The author goes on to discuss the struggle in pursuing this goal on the days when we ourselves are feeling uninspired. How do you tell someone else it will all be okay on the days when you don’t believe it yourself?

What does he do? He writes!

What do I do? I write!

My favorite quote from this post is “I write to beat the demon of doubt from myself” – I have never heard it described in this way and it is perfect! On the days when I am not feeling up to the challenge of life, I pour my thoughts on to the pages until I am able to work through what ever it is that is bothering me. Which is helpful, because sometimes I have no idea what it is that is bothering me until I start exploring my feelings. Once I have a handle on the source, I blog about it in some manner in the hope that my experience will inspire others in a positive way.  This is the whole reason behind writing my book.

I know there are others out there who have had similar struggles to mine and I want them to know that it will be okay. You can find a way to rise above your circumstance and it may not be easy, but if you are dedicated and determined, you will find your true path. Everyone is special in their own way and no one should ever feel as though they do not have a purpose in life. We all do, sometimes it is just hidden under all the pain and disappointment surrounding us.

Whatever the method is that you use to “beat the demon of doubt” from yourself, once you find it your path to healing will surely begin!

May you all be inspired today!

Blogging 101 (Day 4) – Identify your Audience

Today’s assignment for blogging 101 is to publish a post you’d like your ideal audience member to read. Today of all days, this could not be a harder assignment. I ended yesterday in a funk with the hopes that I would wake up today feeling better. Unfortunately, I feel worse. No particular reason per say, just not feeling like my normal upbeat self. On a day when I don’t much feel like having an audience, I spent most of day procrastinating. Then it occurred to me, that is my audience; anyone who may be feeling the way I am feeling, who needs a reminder that they are not alone and it will all be okay.

When it comes down to it,  The way I am feeling today is exactly the reason I started blogging in the first place. In the beginning it was just an outlet for me, but it has become an almost daily psychological ritual. In analyzing the root of the emotions that I have been experiencing, I think it all boils down to a feeling of loneliness. Staring over in a new city is lonely and as much as we try to rise above it, there will still be days when our emotions take over and we begin to throw ourselves a pity party.

As I fought back tears for the 3rd time this afternoon, I left my desk and went to the bathroom for a good cry, but by the time I made it there no tears would fall. Instead I decided to step outside for some fresh air and gave myself a subconscious pep talk! I reminded myself of all that I have to be thankful for and that these feelings of inadequacy and loneliness will pass. It is normal to feel down sometimes and it is okay to cry, but no good will come from wallowing in self-pity. As hard as it is you need to find a way to shake it off and move forward.

If my writing helps one person to do this, I will have reached my ideal audience member.

As Scarlet Ohara would say, “Tomorrow is another day!”

Thanks for stopping by 🙂

Blogging 101: Getting Involved!

Today’s assignment (#3) for Blogging 101 is to explore and connect with the blogging community. This is the perfect assignment for me!

Those who are near and dear to me know that I am a hard nut to crack! I tend to keep people at a distance until I am confident in their good intentions. Someone once referred to me as jaded. Although I wouldn’t go so far as to agree with that, but stand-offish yes I am! I am shy by nature, but ask any of my close friends and they will tell you that once I feel comfortable with you the shyness completely fades away and the kooky comes out!

Anyone who has read my blog, Insane Roots, probably has a pretty good idea as to why I have such a tough exterior. The uncertainty and abandonment I experience in my early childhood has made me leery of new relationships. This is not very beneficial when you have just moved to a new city and are trying to promote an upcoming book. I fear I will turn in to a hermit if I don’t get myself out there, so I am trying to change this with every passing day.

With that having been said, I am off to explore the blogging community!

Hello fellow bloggers! I look forward to learning about you and reading your posts!

Not Just Success, Healthy Success!

As my journey in self-discovery continues, I find myself faced with yet another piece of the puzzle; my health. This is something that is extremely challenging and frustrating to me, but it is essential in achieving my true success. There was a time in my past when I was the epitome of good health! At the current time, I am further from that place than I have ever been before.

When I lived in Madison, I was on a steady diet of beef, cheese and beer. Which is fitting for America’s Dairy Land, but I took this to the extreme. Without the self-control to moderate my actions, I ended up with the messy physical physique I am forcing myself to deal with now. Thankfully, I am not extremely overweight yet, but if I don’t do something now I can see obesity in my future!  That having been said, it is not all about weight. To the untrained eye, I may not look like someone who needs to drop 40 pounds, but I do! I know I do, because I have a point of origin to focus on. I know what I look like when I am healthy. I know what size jeans I should be wearing and I know how I should feel.

I also know that I have to be ready and willing for change if I wish to succeed in this en devour!

Why? Because it requires a complete shift in my mindset. Self-control and empowerment must win out over instant gratification. It is not just knowing what you need to do, but believing in yourself enough to actually do it. Over the last few years, I have lacked the willpower and self-discipline to change anything in my life and now that I have a visual reference of the end result, I am more than determined to make the change.

To get started, I asked myself the following questions: What is my relationship with food? What are some of my good eating habits and what are some of my bad eating habits? Where do these habits stem from?

In analyzing my relationship to food and being honest about my actions (good or bad),  I am better equipt to decide which direction to take moving forward.

For example, in my twenties, I was on a raw vegan diet. There were many wonderful aspects of this lifestyle (and very few drawbacks). It required a great deal of discipline, organizing and planning, but after the first year, it became common place for me and I had never felt better in my life. So, why did I stop?

Sadly, it came down to my social habits; I enjoyed going out to restaurants and bars with my friends on occasion.

I was very young at the time and being able to indulge myself became more important than ensuring that I was in good health. I maintained a vegetarian diet in the years after, but eventually I started eating meat again.

Back then it was all or nothing for me! I have learned over the years that it doesn’t have to be this way at all. Instead, the key in all things is moderation! Setting hard to reach goals for myself and getting down on myself when I fail at them is more damaging than indulging myself every once in a while. In the past, I was basically setting myself up to fail and I did.

This time around, I will set more realistic goals for myself. Goals that deal more with changing my mindset and implementing the information I have acquired over the years. Rather than creating a complex regiment of dos and don’ts. In setting these goals, I must also be brutally honest with myself.

Today, I read a very informative article, 28 Simple & Natural Ways to Detox your Body on Bembu.com. I was familiar with some of the information presented in the beginning of the article already, but it was a good recap for me. If you are unfamiliar with super foods and/or detoxifying foods, I highly recommend you check it out. There are so many expensive detoxifying methods on the market today that are an ultimate waste of your money when there are plenty of natural ways to aid your body in performing it’s built-in methods of detoxification.

Very few people actually listen to their body and that is an essential part of good health. The human body is an amazing organism made up of many intricate systems that many of us do not understand. That’s okay, we don’t need to understand it to listen to it.

For example, did you know that many times when you experience a stomach growl it means that your body is craving water rather than food? I remember reading this somewhere a long time ago and it has always stuck in the back of my mind. To this day, when my stomach growls I will first drink water to see if it subsides and if not then I will resort to filling it with food. It is simple actions like this that can help us determine whether we are actually hungry or just dehydrated. For me this is extremely important to understand, because I am horrible about drinking water. If I did not make a conscious effort to consume my minimum requirements of water intake daily, I would be lucky to drink a single glass.  Lack of water is one of my “bad” habits!

In the above mentioned article, the author suggests that we, “Start by taking a long hard look at your diet and then work your way out from there”

She then gives a list of suggested questions to ask yourself to help you clearly identify where you are currently to better plan for where you want to be in the future. I too believe that this is the key to making a successful change!

She also suggests doing a full body cleanse monthly to aid the system in removing toxins that may still be present despite your daily efforts to promote proper digestion and elimination. One of the recipes that I am eager to try is the Lemon, Maple Syrup, Cayenne cleanse. I will be doing this one on Saturday!

The main point of all this is to be realistic and prepared before you begin. If you are realistic about who you are, what you need and what will work for you, then you are already better prepared to take on the task of changing your mindset and you are on your way to a happier, healthier and more fulfilling life!

Blogging 101: Reevaluating Who I am and Why I’m Here

As many of you know, this is not my first blog. I have been blogging on WordPress for about a year. The first blog I started was Insaneroots and it was more of a brainstorming technique in preparation for a memoir I was working on and an outlet of expression from the emotional turmoil in my life. My goal at that time was to take a step towards sharing my story and my writing to the world. I never in a million years thought that it would become the gateway to getting published, but here I am one year later with a manuscript in the works and a signed publishing contract! It has been my dream to publish my memoir and a goal I honestly never expected to achieve. Although it will be fantastic if I end up selling a ton of copies, I will be satisfied enough simply to see it on the shelves. It is amazing how one small achievement can change your entire perspective on life!

To give you an idea of how I began blogging, here is an excerpt from my original post to this blog:

“I had been living in Madison, Wisconsin, fairly content, but feeling there was something more out there for me. I didn’t know what that was, but I knew I needed to figure it out before it was too late. I was working for a family owned company, making good money. I was surrounded by friends and family that I hold very dear to my heart, but I still felt lost. Maybe not lost as much as disappointed. There were many nights when I would come home from work (or drinks after work) to my one bedroom apartment (and my cats) and think to myself…what now? I wasn’t satisfied. I tried picking up my various hobbies, such as painting, scrap-booking, and photography, but I never felt inspired to continue any of the projects I started. I had taken great joy in these outlets before, so why not now? What had changed?

I pulled out one of my many scrapbooks from years past and as I flipped through it, I realized what had changed…I did. As I looked through the collections of memories, I barely recognized this version of me and my life in the pages. I used to have such a love for life. I was determined, optimistic, creative, ambitious, healthy…all things I no longer attributed to myself. An overwhelming sadness came over me and for a moment, I just sat there staring off in to space, trying to figure out how all this had happened and what I could do to fix it. Something needed to change.

I went on this way for months; feeling defeated and overwhelmed by the notion of needing to reconnect with myself, but having no idea of how to do that. I resorted to a method of expression I had used in my early adulthood to cope with these emotional barriers; writing. Off and on through out my life, I had been working on a memoir recounting my life growing up with a con-artist for a mother and an unidentified father. Many had told me that my story was interesting and inspiring, so I decided to start trying to piece it all together.

I did not realize it then, but the sheer act of writing the blog was exactly what I needed to do to get the ball rolling in finding that “something more” I was looking for. Writing the blog forced me to revisit some of the most challenging struggles in my early childhood and most importantly to work through the emotions surrounding these events. I wrote several of the posts through tears, but after I was finished, I felt better. It was like a therapy session for me each time I logged in. I guess I did end up using that Psychology degree after all…on myself!”

And thus began my blogging ritual!

Now, with the book deal in the works, I had to find something else to blog about and I didn’t have much inspiration until I decided to make a drastic life change and move half way across the country. When I could no longer diminish the urge to write, I started this blog; Success in the City Blog!

Unfortunately, I have had trouble coming up with things to post about (Hence my current exploration in to Blogging 101)!

When I was posting to Insaneroots, it was easy because I was pulling stories from my childhood (which seemed to be endless), but now I had to make a drastic switch in my mental preparedness in order to begin each new post.

I didn’t want this to just be another online journal, but rather an expression of the struggles many of us experience when making a drastic change in their life. Whether it be a career change, a long distance move or in my case both, these types of changes in one’s life call for great reevaluation of oneself. My goals for this year are to reconnect with myself, learn to love myself and most importantly learn to stand up for myself! My hope is that I may give others strength to do the same through the expression of my own personal journey.

If I have learned anything over the past few years it is that if you believe in yourself, the rest will follow!

Happy Writing!

How do you Measure Success?

Everyone measures their success differently. How do you measure your success? Are you someone who thrives for success in money or are you someone who measures your success through the value of the relationships in your life? Better yet, maybe it is a combination of both?

For me, the definition of success is rather confounded. I know from experience that money does not equal happiness, but I have to admit that the comfort which accompanies financial stability is in essence priceless. However, no matter how much money one has, if you have no one to share it with it, it is (to me) virtually worthless. I have experienced an array of different financial situations throughout my life and I believe this rings true for each of them. From dumpster diving to elaborate vacations, it was always the people around me who made it all worthwhile.

The older I get, the more I find myself redefining what I feel my goals are for achieving true success. The answer to this question seems to be of increasing concern as my time on earth begins to lessen. When I was in my twenties, I measured my success on more of a monetary level. I thought that if I was able to land a job that allowed me to pay my bills with money left over that I would consider myself to be successful. What I learned was that I may have technically achieved success as I had defined it, but I was not happy and shouldn’t happiness be included in the definition of success?

Now in my thirties, I have decided it is time to re-evaluate my goals and formulate a new plan for achieving true success. First things first, let’s talk money! I would still agree that financial stability is a very important piece of the puzzle, but landing just any job won’t cut it. The focus is no longer on finding any job that allows me to save money, but rather making money doing what I love! This is much more difficult to do, but the reward that comes from it would be life changing, so I believe it is well worth the effort. Besides, if I reach the end of my life without reaching this goal I will at least know that I tried and there is a certain amount of comfort in that.

Moving on, as I mentioned earlier, I have found that no matter how much money one has, if you have no one to share it with it, it is (to me) virtually worthless. Before I moved to Colorado, I had a job that I excelled at, enough money to pay my bills and a group of friends that anyone would be lucky to have. From a distance, it would seem that I had everything anyone could ever want. One would have probably labeled me successful.

Maybe to some this is success. Don’t get me wrong I was very thankful to be in the situation that I was, but if I am being honest, the months before I left were some of the most somber moments of my adult life. Why you ask? Because for me the definition of success is not measured in money, it is measured in love. Not just the love you share with your significant other, but the love you have for yourself. At that time in my life I had neither.

In the years prior, I had grown very close to someone whom I considered to be one of my truest friends.  From our first moment together, we just clicked. As our friendship progressed, I began to have stronger feelings for him. He was unavailable, so I tucked these feelings deep down inside and pretended they didn’t exist. With each passing year we grew closer and closer until we were spending more time together than not. Partly because we worked alongside one another, but we hung out when we were not working pretty much all the time. The talk around the office for a while was that we were seeing each other. He and I would just laugh it off together as if it were the most ridiculous idea in the world. Little did he know that I made a conscious effort daily not to think of this “ridiculous” idea.

One night at a house party I stepped outside to have a smoke and as I sat there I began to think about the dilemma I was having. There was no way I was going to pursue an unavailable man, but I couldn’t help the way I felt. I couldn’t just stop being friends with him…or could I? As I saw it, I had two choices: Keep the friendship and silently suffer? or End the friendship and try to move on?

It was at that moment when he walked outside and found me sobbing quietly on the stoop. As he started reprimanding me for having a cigarette, he notice the tears rolling down my face and sat down next to me, “What’s wrong?” he asked in a comforting voice.

His inquiry only made it worse, but I knew this was it, it was now or never!

I replied with the only word I could muster, “you”.

A mutual silence followed as we both sat there staring at each other. I could tell in that moment there was no need to explain; he knew.

Breaking the silence, I said “I’m sorry…I didn’t plan to feel this way, but ever since…”

He interrupted me, “That night…I know. If I wasn’t with…” he paused. “it’s just really bad timing.”

The sadness in his voice partnered with the connection I felt to him in this moment was all the convincing I needed not to walk away. Subconsciously, it may have been the tiny glimmer of hope that it would all work out or the comfort in knowing might feel the same way. Whatever it was, it caused me to make the wrong decision. Had I known then what I know now I would have walked away long before this conversation ever occurred.

As the years loomed on, we continued much as we had. Only now there was a giant elephant in the room that no one talked about. It didn’t affect our friendship. If anything we grew closer. Innocently, I thought this was due to the “connection” we had, but I later found out that I was just being played.

I am ashamed to admit that because of my feelings for him, I allowed him to manipulate me in to acting in a way that I am not proud of. In trying to be someone I was not, I lost myself. I was oblivious to the reality of our relationship and the harsh truth that I was being used. I was a fool. When the final stab in the back came, it was truly heartbreaking. Turns out it was all a lie. He tossed our friendship aside as if it had meant nothing to him. I meant nothing to him. I was completely blindsided. I had always known there was a very good chance that we would never end up together, but I would have never thought he was being dishonest about how much he valued our friendship. At that point, I had already made the decision to move to Colorado and this event only reaffirmed that it was time to move on.

I share this story with you because it has great significance in my personal redefinition of success. Somewhere along the way I let my love for someone get in the way of loving myself. I fell prey to false hope and it left me discouraged and lost. There is no way to find your true path if you can’t begin to find yourself. As I do with every hardship in my life, I have found a silver lining to this heartbreak. It has made me aware that I still have some healing to do before I am ready to love someone else. Somewhere inside this insecure mind is a strong willful woman begging to be free. I need to learn to love myself before I will ever be able to truly love another. Therefore I am closed for remodeling as I like to say…new and improved me coming soon!

I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading!

Where I was When I Decided to Change my Life and What I’m Doing Now

In my first post, “Finding Myself” I explained how I came about the decision to change my circumstance and begin my journey to fulfillment. I have since then explored a variety of creative avenues and believe I am finally on the right path!

After I signed the publishing contract for Insane Roots and stopped posting in that blog, I was still yearning for a writing outlet,  so I started a new blog on WordPress: Random Thoughts from Insane Roots. For months I lacked the courage to post anything. When I was posting in my book blog, I had more confidence because I knew that the subject matter was interesting so I didn’t worry so much about whether it would be received well or not. With the new blog, it was all on me and I had no idea where to start. I found myself with a severe case of writers block!

Until recently…that is!

I decided to start typing up my poetry and rants from all of my random notebooks from many years past and I stumbled across some real gems. After some minor editing, I made my 1st post, then my 2nd and I was working on my 3rd when I found a folder of writing from the last few months I was in Wisconsin. The difference in the tone of the writing was drastic and sadly very dark. Feeling the way I do now and reading something I wrote while I was feeling defeated and lost was surprisingly uplifting. To know this place and to remember this place is never to revisit this place.

The response to these posts were not out of this world, but I did immediately begin receiving likes and I already have a few followers. This in itself was extremely inspiring.  Now I had a creative outlet for my poetry and random ideas, in addition to my personal journey blog that you are reading now. I can officially say that I believe that I am addicted to blogging! I have overcome my fear of ridicule (at least where my writing is concerned) and with any luck this confidence will spill over in to my everyday attitude as well.

Despite my positive outlook and cherry disposition, I am unfortunately one of those people who spends way too much time worrying about the opinions of others. So much that it has begun to affect my self-confidence a great deal. For example, if I am walking down the street and catch someone staring at me or see them look me up and down, I immediately assume the negative. I start analyzing my entire appearance trying to determine what they found to be wrong with me. It’s sad really.

To counter act this, I  have been making a conscious effort to remind myself in these moments that the person in question may just be admiring my skirt, think my hair is pretty or they may even find me attractive?! Why set myself up to fail? It’s much better to assume the best and besides, who cares if your wrong. If you have confidence in yourself then even if that person was thinking mean thoughts about you, it wouldn’t matter because your positive outlook will over-power their negativity!

I’m not saying that this always works for me, but I’m trying my best.

I am still working on that list of joys I compiled (see my post : Blast from the Past) to continue my journey in finding my true self. One of the items on that list is my health. I am not extremely over weight or anything, but I definitely have a few pounds that I could do without. The weight is not the biggest issue with my health and it is not like I live an extremely unhealthy lifestyle, rather it’s the fact that I know I can do better. During the time I refer to in the post, a time when I was the closest I have ever been to my true self, I was extremely healthy. For the majority of the time I lived in Seattle, I was either Vegetarian, Vegan or (for most of the time) raw vegan. I am not saying that I would like to completely give up meat again, but I would like to cut back drastically. I went from only eating raw food for close to five years to a steady diet of meat, beer and cheese for the last seven years. Needless to say, my body is in a much different condition than it was seven years ago and I can’t blame it all on my age (although that has not been helpful).

The point is that I am old enough to know better and old enough to care! So, I have decided to delve back in to the raw food diet. today is my first day and so far so good. Luckily I started my new temp job today, so I am less tempted to eat junk food than I would have been hanging around the house all day. My roommate and I are doing a 28 day raw boot camp to help us get back on a healthy track and help cleanse our body from toxins. After the 28 days are over, I will return to eating cooked foods, but I hope to maintain at least a 50-75% raw diet. Most likely, I will eat raw throughout the day and end the day with a partially cooked dinner and a salad. I will keep you posted on my progress.

It is hard to believe that just a few months ago I was in one of the lowest points in my life. The transformation in me that is beginning to take place (mind, body & soul) gives me strength to continue on my path of self-discovery and the further validation of myself.

Today is a good day!