A New Adventure!

I have decided to bring back this blog in order to tell the tale of my new adventures in business! As many of you know, I published my first in a series of memoirs on February 2, 2016. It is doing as well as I had hoped if not better and I am ready for the next adventure to begin. For those of you wondering, yes there most definitely will be a sequel, but I am still hungry to do more! I never in a million years thought this day would come. I dreamed for years about writing a book and fantasied about the day it would become reality.

The manifestation of this seemingly unreachable dream has given me the courage to reach for the stars. If what was once thought to be impossible has become possible, then what else can I achieve? The sky is the limit now 🙂

One of my dreams is to be in a place financially where I have several sources of income to keep me not just afloat, but living the lifestyle I have always dreamed of. Nothing luxurious, just the ability to work on my art, travel and spend quality time with my family in friends. I think that is probably most people’s dream really.

When I first began this blog, I was on a journey of not just success in business, but success in personal development and freedom. Well it has been a long journey, but i have managed to reconnect with myself and gained the confidence and security that was once so lacking in my life. With this new lease on life and a better me it is time to find my success in business once and for all!

In the next few weeks, I will take you along on my journey exploring a new business opportunity that I am extremely excited about getting started with. I am not looking to solicit customers. It’s just that I value everyone’s feedback and if this ends up being the financially fulfilling en devour that I believe it will be I want you all to know first hand how it happened.

I went out in search of a somewhat passive source of income to supplement the money coming in from the book and my full time accounting job. I wasn’t interested in sales and most of what I found at first was exactly that. I had sold Party Lite back in the day and even had a few Lia Sophia parties. Sure I have tons of awesome candle stuff and my jewelry collection is great, but the extra money that was always promised never really panned out.

I am not a fan of the “tupperware” party, pyramid scheme business plans that run so rampid  all over the internet. I was interested in a business model where everyone benefits. Kind of like Ebates where you receive discounts and rewards on all your purchases, just by signing up (for free). Amazon Prime is similar. Although it is not free, the benefits of subscribing for a small yearly fee ($99.00 if I remember correctly) is beyond worth it. If I am going to shop there anyway, why shouldn’t I reward myself for doing it?

For example, every year for Christmas, I do most of my shopping online. Either through Amazon or another online store. Most of those stores participate in Ebates. So, if I am going to shop there anyway, why wouldn’t I go through their portal to get an additional discount or cash back? Seems silly to not to. It isn’t really a substantial source of income, but it is an added savings on top of your regular purchases.

I have also explored surveys and research websites and I have made a few dollars doing that. The only problem is that although you may get a free sample in exchange for your $.75 credit, you are usually responsible for the shipping charges and have to remember to cancel the product by a certain day. This can get a bit mucky as you may imagine.

I also looked into another “business opportunity” last summer that promised me the world, but the products they were selling were not something I could really stand behind. I will not promote any product I do not feel completely confident in or one I have any reservations about myself. I wanted to find a company with the same ideals as myself who were associated with products that I would feel confident in promoting.

I believe I have finally found the company I have been searching for. In the days to come, I will discuss with you my journey in the sampling of these products. Not because I wish you to purchase them, but rather because I am interested in the opinions and experiences of my loyal readers. Should my experiences spark your interest, that is great and I am happy pass along the tools to get you started, but again I am not sharing this with you solely for that purpose.

If I find a product I am particularly fond of in the process, I am happy pay forward some free samples. So if something appeals to you, please let me know.

I am very interested to hear your feedback and to share the inside scoop with all of you!

Stay tuned! I will be posting my first product review this weekend 🙂

 

Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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It’s Not You, It’s Them

It may sound silly, but despite my track record, I still believe in true love.

My opinions and expectations of it have changed a bit over the years, however.

I no longer need it to complete me, but rather look forward to the additional happiness it will bring to my life.

Maybe it is the wisdom that comes with age or the pure act of loving myself, but either way, I have learned that building something up in my own mind does not make it real.

People say things they don’t mean all the time and it is up to us to decide whether to take it to heart.

I’ve talked to a lot of my guys friends about the subject and the consensus has been that in most cases, we make the situation much more complicated in our minds than it really needs to be.

The truth is that if someone really loves you and wants to be with you, there will be no stopping them.

So all this time we spend waiting by the phone hoping he will call is pointless.

If he felt the same as you, there would be no waiting by the phone. There would be no question in your mind as to whether he is thinking about you or not. If he was, he would tell you.

Rather than putting your life on hold and hoping for something that is obviously not mutual, you need to pick yourself up and move on.

If they really want you, men will fight for you and most of them enjoy the act of the chase.

Don’t lose faith in yourself or think it is something you did or didn’t do and it is not because you are not worthy of them either. The simple truth is that loving someone does not require them to love you in return.

If you were true, spoke your mind and they just weren’t feeling it, that’s all it is, they were just not feeling it.

The reality is that not everyone we love is who we are supposed to end up with. I’m sure there are plenty of people who want to be with you, but you just don’t feel the same way. It is not always the result of something they did or didn’t do, right?

So why would we think that about ourselves when we are sitting on the other side of the table?

The person you are meant to be with is out there somewhere, but you will never find them if you are too busy waiting on the wrong person’s feelings to change.

I know it hurts, (trust me I really do) but the rejection of others can actually be a blessing depending on how you look at it.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I really believe that what is meant to be will always find a way. True love should not be complicated and will not be perfect, but it should come easy.

Courage

With the summer solstice coming up this weekend, this week for me has been all about closure!

I believe that being open and honest with the people we hold dear to our hearts is the most important action we possess. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us and I would hate to leave this world with words unsaid. Therefore I find it essential that those around me know just how I feel about them. Whether it be a simple reminder to my best friend that I love her or coming clean to someone about feelings you’ve had cooped up inside, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the satisfaction you feel knowing that you have said all that you needed to say.

Whether these feelings are reciprocated is irrelevant. I can rest easy knowing that when I lay my head down at night, I have left nothing unsaid. It can be a little too much for some people, but that’s on them. I would rather put it all on the table, than to look back and hold regrets for the words I couldn’t find the courage to speak. I am no coward!

Life is all about taking risks and I think it is better to have taken a risk and face rejection that to spend the rest of our lives wondering if things would have been different had we only spoken our mind.

Don’t be afraid of the possibility of reaching a dead-end.

Instead, think of it as a fork in the road. It’s life’s way of telling you that you need to take a different path, a better path, your destined path.

Be courageous in the face of uncertainty, using the actions of others as your compass rather than your validation.

A Little Help From My Friends

It’s amazing how lonely a big city can be. Perhaps its enormity reminds me of just how small I am in the scheme of it all. I try to start everyday on a positive note, but some days despite my best efforts, I just can’t shake the funk.

Today was one of those days…

I know that I have so much to be thankful for and I know in my heart that everything will work out in the end, but the journey can be all-consuming at times.

I find myself impatience for what is to come and melancholy about my current state of reality. There are a lot of things in my life that are currently up in the air and sometimes it feels like I will never quite be able to grasp them.

As a result, it becomes very lonely in my head and my heart. Will my dreams of success in life and love ever become a true reality or will I always be in a state of unrest and unknowing?

And the unknowing is the worse part of it all.

I know that life is a struggle and not every day will be filled with positive energy. Everyone has those days where it seems like you are fighting just to breath, the world around you is crumbling at your feet and you are powerless to stop it.

But it’s how you choose to deal with these lows that determines whether the outcome will be positive or negative.

I reasoned that my somber feeling today was most likely due to feeling lonely and a bit homesick. I am miles away from almost everyone closest to me and I miss them all immensely. It’s not that I don’t like to be alone, because it’s quite the opposite, I love my alone time. However, I miss having the option to spend time with the most important people in my life.

I strongly believe that each connection we make with someone is part of a greater plan. Those we choose to share our lives with are meant to be in our lives for one reason or another. So, it only makes sense that although I am excited about my current venture, I am deeply missing their presence in my everyday life.

I reached out to my friends today and they reminded me of my strength and the inner light that always carries me through. It’s amazing how those close to you know exactly what to say to lift you up. We get so caught up in the moment we are experiencing that we start to lose our momentum towards the final goal.

I am so blessed to have people in my life who see in me what I am too blind to see in myself. Thank you for reminding me that I am still the strong and powerful person I always have been and that this is just a fleeting negative moment. You give me peace in knowing that no matter what happens, I will always be loved.

All my love 🙂

Don’t Take Things Personally

One of the hardest things in this life is not knowing where you stand with someone.

Especially if you know exactly where they stand with you.

After reading The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, I have been making a conscious effort to make these new agreements with myself that he says will change my life. My favorite of the four is “Don’t take things personally”. For me, this is also by far the most challenging.

For many years, I have taken everything personally. The words of others shoot directly to my heart. I internalize them as absolute truth. In many cases, this is my biggest mistake.

The truth is people are inherently selfish and unintentionally self involved. The actions of others are a reflection of themselves and no one else. Therefore nothing they say or do should be taken personally.

It’s a hard concept to wrap your brain around, but once you do I would imagine the feeling to be freeing!

For example, in love we would hold no expectations, allowing us to appreciate the moments we shared without worry of what will or will not manifest. There would be no fear of rejection, because we would know in our heart that should our love not be returned, it is not our fault. It is nothing we have done or not done well enough. The feelings of others are beyond our control.

When we fall for someone (especially when we don’t plan to) we become vulnerable to their actions before we have a chance to rationalize how it will feel if they don’t join us in the fall. Our need for acceptance and reciprocation become all-consuming. Each day that passes is a struggle to keep it cool for fear of making the wrong move. We want so badly to tell them just how we feel, but instead we let this fear hold us back.

I don’t know about you, but for me loving someone is beyond terrifying. I have been hurt so many times before that just the idea of going through that again makes my stomach turn. In the beginning it’s always great! Like that moment I wrote about on Insane Roots yesterday; A twinkle of Ecstasy with a Hint of Fear!

But knowing how it will feel if it doesn’t work out brings warnings for extreme caution. No one wants to be the one to put themselves out there. Myself included.

If we were to learn not to take things personally, we may have an easier time of finding the courage to be the one who takes the first step to say “I miss you” or “I’m thinking of you”. If we received an undesired response and didn’t take it personally, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. We wouldn’t think of it as rejection, but rather divine intervention that we were embarking on the wrong path.

When you think of it this way, the actions of others serve as your compass. Leading you to your final destination. When we reach a dead-end, we can be excited for the journey ahead and thankful that time has been kind to save us from drowning in something that was not meant to be.

If we are impeccable with our word, don’t make assumptions and act out of love and kindness, then there is no need to take things personally because we know we are always doing our best to be true and honest.

I’m sure you can see why this is my favorite and the most challenging of Ruiz’s agreements for me.

If I am being honest, I may have grasped the concept, but acting on it is an entirely different thing!

Oh well, we all have to start somewhere 🙂

Image courtesy of nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Humanly Flawed

Well, here I am again, fighting the dawn.

I have given up on the prospect of sleep, at least until I sort out the million and one thoughts that are racing through my head.

I have spent so much of my life in a state of worry that I don’t think I know how to function any other way. I worry myself into a frenzy whenever my mind has a chance to wander.  It’s like I’m fighting against my own insecurities and they are winning. Refusing to allow myself to relish in the moment and appreciate the many blessings in my life.

I am taking away my own joy. Talk about self destructive right?!

So what do I do to change this?

I have spent the last six months on an emotional journey of self discovery. I know I have come a long way, but there is obviously a lot more healing that needs to take place. The fact that I can identify what I am doing as I am doing it is a start I guess…

I realized today that although I have forgiven those in my past who have caused me pain, I have yet to forgive myself for the mistakes I made in the process. I still punish myself with my own words of unworthiness and inferiority. This needs to stop.

I have made mistakes and done things that I am not necessarily proud of, but it is time to move past this. It is time to allow myself to be happy without the worry that something will go wrong. And in the event that things do not turn out in my favor, I need to internalize the fact that the actions of others are not the reflection of me.

There are some things that are just not in my power to change.

What is in my power however is the ability to do the best that I can in any given situation. I am not perfect. I am humanly flawed. Cursed by the depth of my passions.

I am vulnerable, but I am strong.

In the midst of this constant need for worry, I must remind myself to find contentment in the notion that everything will be as it should be in the end.

Finding Bliss

“Imagine living your life without the fear of being judged by others. You no longer rule your behavior according to what others may think about you. You are no longer responsible for anyone’s opinion…

Imagine living without fear of loving and not being loved. You are no longer afraid to be rejected, and you don’t have the need to be accepted. You can say “I love you” with no shame or justification. You can walk in the world with your heart completely open, and not be afraid to be hurt. ” – Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Wouldn’t this be wonderful? I don’t know about you, but the very idea of opening up to someone is terrifying to me. I have been hurt so many times that it is hard not to allow my actions to be ruled by fear. Especially the fear of rejection. I am the type of person that when I love someone, I am all in. When I give another person my heart, I give them all of my heart. I believe very strongly that tomorrow is not promised to anyone, so it is very important to me that those close to me know how much I value them.

Sounds like I’m on the right track doesn’t it? You would think so, but sadly this kindness has been taken advantage of many times before. As a result, the words “I love you” don’t come so easily to me anymore. Out of fear of rejection, I hold back my feelings, bite my tongue and stay in the safe zone.  This may prevent me from being hurt, but it will also prevent me from being free.

Ruiz tells us that it is possible to overcome this fear and live in a state of bliss. A state that he calls “the dream of heaven”.

And how do we find this state of bliss?

By changing the agreements we have unconsciously made with ourselves that we are supposed to be or not be a certain way. By letting go of our insecurities and loving ourselves for all that we are.  Only then can we be free from our hindering emotions that lead us in the wrong direction.

“The only reason you are happy is because you chose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering. Maybe we cannot escape from the destiny of the human, but we have a  choice: to suffer, or to love and be happy.” – Don Miguel Ruiz