As many of you know, this is not my first blog. I have been blogging on WordPress for about a year. The first blog I started was Insaneroots and it was more of a brainstorming technique in preparation for a memoir I was working on and an outlet of expression from the emotional turmoil in my life. My goal at that time was to take a step towards sharing my story and my writing to the world. I never in a million years thought that it would become the gateway to getting published, but here I am one year later with a manuscript in the works and a signed publishing contract! It has been my dream to publish my memoir and a goal I honestly never expected to achieve. Although it will be fantastic if I end up selling a ton of copies, I will be satisfied enough simply to see it on the shelves. It is amazing how one small achievement can change your entire perspective on life!
To give you an idea of how I began blogging, here is an excerpt from my original post to this blog:
“I had been living in Madison, Wisconsin, fairly content, but feeling there was something more out there for me. I didn’t know what that was, but I knew I needed to figure it out before it was too late. I was working for a family owned company, making good money. I was surrounded by friends and family that I hold very dear to my heart, but I still felt lost. Maybe not lost as much as disappointed. There were many nights when I would come home from work (or drinks after work) to my one bedroom apartment (and my cats) and think to myself…what now? I wasn’t satisfied. I tried picking up my various hobbies, such as painting, scrap-booking, and photography, but I never felt inspired to continue any of the projects I started. I had taken great joy in these outlets before, so why not now? What had changed?
I pulled out one of my many scrapbooks from years past and as I flipped through it, I realized what had changed…I did. As I looked through the collections of memories, I barely recognized this version of me and my life in the pages. I used to have such a love for life. I was determined, optimistic, creative, ambitious, healthy…all things I no longer attributed to myself. An overwhelming sadness came over me and for a moment, I just sat there staring off in to space, trying to figure out how all this had happened and what I could do to fix it. Something needed to change.
I went on this way for months; feeling defeated and overwhelmed by the notion of needing to reconnect with myself, but having no idea of how to do that. I resorted to a method of expression I had used in my early adulthood to cope with these emotional barriers; writing. Off and on through out my life, I had been working on a memoir recounting my life growing up with a con-artist for a mother and an unidentified father. Many had told me that my story was interesting and inspiring, so I decided to start trying to piece it all together.
I did not realize it then, but the sheer act of writing the blog was exactly what I needed to do to get the ball rolling in finding that “something more” I was looking for. Writing the blog forced me to revisit some of the most challenging struggles in my early childhood and most importantly to work through the emotions surrounding these events. I wrote several of the posts through tears, but after I was finished, I felt better. It was like a therapy session for me each time I logged in. I guess I did end up using that Psychology degree after all…on myself!”
And thus began my blogging ritual!
Now, with the book deal in the works, I had to find something else to blog about and I didn’t have much inspiration until I decided to make a drastic life change and move half way across the country. When I could no longer diminish the urge to write, I started this blog; Success in the City Blog!
Unfortunately, I have had trouble coming up with things to post about (Hence my current exploration in to Blogging 101)!
When I was posting to Insaneroots, it was easy because I was pulling stories from my childhood (which seemed to be endless), but now I had to make a drastic switch in my mental preparedness in order to begin each new post.
I didn’t want this to just be another online journal, but rather an expression of the struggles many of us experience when making a drastic change in their life. Whether it be a career change, a long distance move or in my case both, these types of changes in one’s life call for great reevaluation of oneself. My goals for this year are to reconnect with myself, learn to love myself and most importantly learn to stand up for myself! My hope is that I may give others strength to do the same through the expression of my own personal journey.
If I have learned anything over the past few years it is that if you believe in yourself, the rest will follow!