It’s amazing how lonely a big city can be. Perhaps its enormity reminds me of just how small I am in the scheme of it all. I try to start everyday on a positive note, but some days despite my best efforts, I just can’t shake the funk.
Today was one of those days…
I know that I have so much to be thankful for and I know in my heart that everything will work out in the end, but the journey can be all-consuming at times.
I find myself impatience for what is to come and melancholy about my current state of reality. There are a lot of things in my life that are currently up in the air and sometimes it feels like I will never quite be able to grasp them.
As a result, it becomes very lonely in my head and my heart. Will my dreams of success in life and love ever become a true reality or will I always be in a state of unrest and unknowing?
And the unknowing is the worse part of it all.
I know that life is a struggle and not every day will be filled with positive energy. Everyone has those days where it seems like you are fighting just to breath, the world around you is crumbling at your feet and you are powerless to stop it.
But it’s how you choose to deal with these lows that determines whether the outcome will be positive or negative.
I reasoned that my somber feeling today was most likely due to feeling lonely and a bit homesick. I am miles away from almost everyone closest to me and I miss them all immensely. It’s not that I don’t like to be alone, because it’s quite the opposite, I love my alone time. However, I miss having the option to spend time with the most important people in my life.
I strongly believe that each connection we make with someone is part of a greater plan. Those we choose to share our lives with are meant to be in our lives for one reason or another. So, it only makes sense that although I am excited about my current venture, I am deeply missing their presence in my everyday life.
I reached out to my friends today and they reminded me of my strength and the inner light that always carries me through. It’s amazing how those close to you know exactly what to say to lift you up. We get so caught up in the moment we are experiencing that we start to lose our momentum towards the final goal.
I am so blessed to have people in my life who see in me what I am too blind to see in myself. Thank you for reminding me that I am still the strong and powerful person I always have been and that this is just a fleeting negative moment. You give me peace in knowing that no matter what happens, I will always be loved.
All my love 🙂